I met an actual mad woman yesterday

Having had my hair cut (it looks gooood) I went to the benches in Pikey Wood to wait for Mum to pick me up. Fortunately our God in Heaven made me sit on the empty bench, but I was still close to an old-ish woman sitting on the other bench, eating a baked potato from a plastic carton.

“Darling,” she said, “Forgive me, but how old are you?”
I thought for a moment to make sure I got it right and replied, “22″
“I thought you were five!”
I pulled my T-shirt tighter and pointed out that I have quite big boobs for a five year old, a point she readily conceded.

There was a moment’s silence and she continued:

“Darling, have you got any animals?”
“No”
“What about your neighbours?”
“Not that I know of”
“They have to be kept in at night nowadays. There are white vans going all over the country collecting cats and dogs for experiments.”
“Oh, nice!” I said dryly.
“I don’t think it’s nice.”

Then in the evening, JBM and I went to Fernie’s birthday bash at a Greek restaurant in Carshalton, which I can tell you is to the left of Croydon. I didn’t choose especially Greek food (Brussels pate with melba toast, chicken kebab, chocolate fudge cake), but the waiters were great fun – especially the one from Transylvania who stole Fernie’s bottle of Jack Daniel’s. There was a mock fight at one point which incorporated a plate getting smashed and Susie, the bride-to-be of the hen night at the other table, had to sweep all the pieces up the length of the taverna.

There’s a bit of excitement due tomorrow as the guys are coming to demolish our hedge and replace it with a fence. You know what, i might just take some pics of the process…