Dave!

While Dad was visiting Ted today, I had a surprise visitor in the shape of Dave. And not only was he shaped like Dave, he actually was Dave! He turned up in his big truck thing that isn’t really a truck, bringing with him an enormous black cloud. The sky had been white all day [...]

Supermegaoberaffengeil

Forgive me, but surely I can’t be the only one amused by the headline “Naomi Campbell scuffles with her maid”. I want a maid. I also want a scuffle.
I had a scuffle with Sooze once. In year 12 or 13 in the form room. There was a bit of rubbish paper lying about and [...]

Gone and bought me some rocks

I just tried to push my glasses up. I’m not wearing them. In fact, I’ve had my lenses for months now, so it’s about time I stopped this wild grappling in the air. I still attempt to hold them out of the way when I rub my eyes, so if you ever see me rubbing [...]