It’s good when they fall into the gutter

2 September 2005

I didn’t mean to leave it this long before writing more, but a few things have happened and now I must catch up. While berating me for not writing more blogs back in July, Lauren said, “I just want to know what you’re doing”, which I found rather touching among all the berating and lambasting, so I mustn’t let her down.

Lee turned fortymumble on Tuesday, so I extended the bank holiday weekend by another day (as only the self-employed-who-also-work-for-John-and-Fernie can) and went to Suffolk to see him and Debbie with Mum and Dad. We threw some presents at him and hung around for a while before heading to Downham Market in Norfolk for some lunch. We bought sandwiches and stuff at a sandwich shop and then sat in the sunshine in the market square eating them, while some oiks stole their friend’s wheelchair to play with.

We wandered around the town a little and I took some photos with my D50, before we headed to Lee and Debbie’s new place. They haven’t moved in there yet as things are still a little topsy-turvy being decorated, but I think there are several rooms which are nearly done.

On the way to the bungalow, I saw something very exciting: a tornado! Lee didn’t see it as RAF Marham is nearby, so my cries of “tornado!” prompted him to scan the skies instead of the fields. However, Mum saw it and shared my excitement as the funnel of air whipped through a harvested field, throwing bits of straw into the air and, as it reached the edge of the field, scared some birds off a telegraph wire.

Norfolk’s much too flat for my liking, although there were some very pretty, very English scenes of hay bales in fields and so on. It’s only having seen the alternative for myself that I realise how much I like the gentle variation in the landscape in Kent. We have the Downs and little hills and big hills. I thought I saw hills in the distance in Norfolk, but it turned out just to be clouds. They do have a lot of butterflies there though and something had also been kind enough to leave a decapitated mouse on the front path for Lee.

After the bungalow visit, we went to King’s Lynn. I took some more photos of water and architecture and Lee and Debbie danced in the street. Dad photographed some random blokes and Mum looked up Lord Vancouver’s skirt. After a while, we headed back to Downham Market for dinner at a pizza place, stopping on the way for a drink at a pub. I had a nice cheeseburger and managed to get away with only one little ketchup mark on my white top. Not bad at all, considering how the burger was leaking all over my hands. It did taste good though!

Back at Debbie’s house, we talked for a while and I checked my email in order to put a stop to the cold sweats ;) I also took the opportunity to see what various sites looked like on 1024*768 screens. Not too bad, thank goodness. We left for home very late and I slept on and off in the car. I was woken at one point by the sound of a Porsche passing us by at about 130mph. Vrrooommm!

Photos here and here

Yesterday Suzy and I went to Tonbridge for lunch and a bit of ambling about. Suzy also managed to get in some pretty comprehensively girly shopping, coming away with shoes, a bag and a top. I nearly got some shoes, but the 12s were too narrow and the 13s too long, although wide enough. As I told the shop assistant, “I’m short and wide. Well my feet are.”

We ate our lunch at Subway on the high street. If anyone else was in there, I was the one with sweet onion sauce all over my hands/face. We had sweet onion terriaki sub rolls, with a cookie and a drink – not bad for Â£3.50 each! Suzy’s order was put together first and I followed behind her saying, “I’ll have what’s she having!” cos it sounded so scrummy. Our orders did end up differing slightly though as when I reached the salad bar part, the guy behind the counter couldn’t remember what Suzy had had and so gave me red onion, not olives. I’m glad he did actually, cos they were yum. I picked a white choc chip and macadamia cookie while suzy had a choc chip one. And then a Smarties one cos she was still hungry. Towards the end of our meal, half of Japan entered the shop, proudly wearing socks with sandals, but not taking photos or flashing peace signs, which I did find a little disappointing stereotype-wise.

Walking round to the park, Suzy and I followed a girl who couldn’t quite work me out and evidently thought that all would come clear if she gave me a good stare as well as giving Suzy the once-over to see if she was a bit odd-looking too. She was being typically unsubtle and I would have tried my walking-starers-into-a-wall procedure had I not been wearing flip-flops which rendered me incapable of reaching any speed above slow-even-for-Sarah.

As we walked down Bradford Street, starer-girl was now on the other side of the road. Standing on the edge of the pavement, she tried to have one last look and promptly fell off the curb and into the gutter. Suzy and I laughed very loudly indeed and I’ve a feeling I may also have pointed. It certainly made up for not being able to walk her into a wall.

Incidentally, I also had a blood test yesterday as part of the ongoing why-the-hell-has-her-kidney-done-that?-investigation. There was apparently no calcium in the big bucket of wee I’d collected for them on the 24th, but I can’t remember what they were going to be looking for in my blood. The treasure of the Sierra Madre perhaps.