It’s good when they fall into the gutter

2 September 2005

Yesterday Suzy and I went to Tonbridge for lunch and a bit of ambling about. Suzy also managed to get in some pretty comprehensively girly shopping, coming away with shoes, a bag and a top. I nearly got some shoes, but the 12s were too narrow and the 13s too long, although wide enough. As I told the shop assistant, “I’m short and wide. Well my feet are.”

We ate our lunch at Subway on the high street. If anyone else was in there, I was the one with sweet onion sauce all over my hands/face. We had sweet onion terriaki sub rolls, with a cookie and a drink – not bad for £3.50 each! Suzy’s order was put together first and I followed behind her saying, “I’ll have what’s she having!” cos it sounded so scrummy. Our orders did end up differing slightly though as when I reached the salad bar part, the guy behind the counter couldn’t remember what Suzy had had and so gave me red onion, not olives. I’m glad he did actually, cos they were yum. I picked a white choc chip and macadamia cookie while suzy had a choc chip one. And then a Smarties one cos she was still hungry. Towards the end of our meal, half of Japan entered the shop, proudly wearing socks with sandals, but not taking photos or flashing peace signs, which I did find a little disappointing stereotype-wise.

Walking round to the park, Suzy and I followed a girl who couldn’t quite work me out and evidently thought that all would come clear if she gave me a good stare as well as giving Suzy the once-over to see if she was a bit odd-looking too. She was being typically unsubtle and I would have tried my walking-starers-into-a-wall procedure had I not been wearing flip-flops which rendered me incapable of reaching any speed above slow-even-for-Sarah.

As we walked down Bradford Street, starer-girl was now on the other side of the road. Standing on the edge of the pavement, she tried to have one last look and promptly fell off the curb and into the gutter. Suzy and I laughed very loudly indeed and I’ve a feeling I may also have pointed. It certainly made up for not being able to walk her into a wall.

Incidentally, I also had a blood test yesterday as part of the ongoing why-the-hell-has-her-kidney-done-that?-investigation. There was apparently no calcium in the big bucket of wee I’d collected for them on the 24th, but I can’t remember what they were going to be looking for in my blood. The treasure of the Sierra Madre perhaps.