Bigotted spanking

28 September 2005

Someone came to Dreamdust having done a search for ‘how to clean blackberries?’. In case they return, I feel that, in the name of science, I should reveal my two patented methods: (a) don’t bother – dog piss and exhaust fumes from a country lane are part of the “experience”, or (b) pick the blackberry, lick it and then eat it. Or, I guess you could run them under a tap if you have lots. Licking a punnet of blackberries one by one would probably take a while.

You’ll all be disappointed to hear that despite my blackberry wisdom, I have nothing to offer on the other search that came up a couple of weeks ago: “english male to male spanking”. Now there’s bigotry if ever I saw it. Bloody immigrants, coming over here, taking our spankers.

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Somewhat later: my hearing sucks. I thought the guy on the phone wanted Fernie. He’s not here, I said. Who’s that? he said. Sarah, I said. Who’s Sarah? he said. Hmm, maybe he didn’t say Fernie after all, I thought. I’ll ring his mobile, he said. Ok, I said. 1471, I dialled. Local number, it said. Ah, wrong number, I concluded. My ears don’t work, I lamented. Blog entry, I wrote.