In the most unexpected places

Before she went to the supermarket this evening, Mum said that she and I would be having spaghetti bolognese. I said that it would be nice to have mushrooms in the bolognese, but unfortunately we didn’t have any. Since all our veg comes from the farm shop nowadays, rather than the supermarket, this fungal shortage [...]

It’s how I show my appreciation

A little mathematics for you:
To Sevenoaks on the train + freezing my bum off on a metal bench on the platform + onwards to Bromley + being disowned for picking something shiny out the mud + a lazy Sunday afternoon + good company + a fat squirrel bounding about + endless talking in the kitchen [...]

More lithe and lovely than ever

On noticing that my teeth were without their brace, my optician asked me what cosmetic surgery I would be having next, now that my eyes were free to look lascivious and beguiling in their contact lenses and my teeth were now back on the straight and narrow after their time spent roaming around at odd [...]

Dental parole

I’ve been signed off from my orthodontist. My teeth are now officially splendid. Almost American. Only not quite so white. And they don’t drive a Hummer.
I can now gradually cut down to wearing my brace every other night, then two nights per week, then finally just one night a week until the end of [...]

Barefoot

It was definitely a barefoot kind of day on Sunday. The occasional few minutes of cloud, but mostly lots of warm sunshine. I pottered about in the garden, writing in my book, pulling up weeds and staring at the soil where my sweetcorn should feel itself free to poke through any day now.

The Hippocranky Oath

I went to my GP today to see about a few very vague wafty things that have been intermittently bothering me in a vague wafty way, except when they were suddenly all happening together and made me feel as though I was falling apart.
We talked about the fact that my legs keep giving me jip [...]

Call Diane

I went to Stansted Airport this morning in order to partake in a shady under-the-counter deal with a handsome rogue. Once the deal was made, I returned to the car park, where I found this piece of paper lying on the ground.

Call Diane
Gary ran over Bob in the Hoover bay
I wish there had been a [...]