But I didn’t see the Queen

24 August 2007

Today I went to London with Lauren. This is (some of) what happened:

* I eavesdropped on a conversation on the train as a woman educated her visiting American friends on various British topics. I learned a couple of things, but lost all confidence in her when she referred to the Gherkin as the “pineapple”. She might know about the privatisation of the railways, but she can’t distinguish a gherkin from a pineapple and is thus not someone from whom I would accept a fruit salad.

* We went to Tate Britain to see the How We Are exhibition, where my photo of cream and cocoa is being exhibited as part of the How We Are Now display. We woohooed in unseemly fashion as my photo came up on the still life screen. Lauren then masked me from the gallery staff as I tried to take a photo of my photo on display.

* I laughed at Lauren as she peered at the pictures in the exhibition, her nose about an inch from each photo, as she wasn’t wearing her glasses.

* Lauren took a picture of me with my phone, I sent it to my Flickr stream and then we loaded that page on the computer set up in the gallery for Flickr browsing and ran off. Geeks.

* We took the Tate Boat up the river to get to Borough Market. Waiting on the riverbank I took the tickets out of my bag, started to joke that this would be when they flew out of my hand, only for them to fly out of my hand and head straight for the river. I ran after them, they caught on the railings and as I stomped my foot on them to stop them going any further, I smacked my forehead on the top bar of the railings. A kind stranger picked the tickets up for me and the little boy next to whom I had arrived at great speed wondered what the hell was going on … and possibly why I had been in such a hurry to headbutt metal.

* Lunch was devoured at Wagamama. I had what I always have – yasai yaki soba. People around me had interesting-looking things on their plates and in their bowls, but I couldn’t match any of those things to descriptions on the menu. The girl next to me had a bowl full of something that involved a special wooden spoon. I don’t know my special wooden spoon etiquette, so I’m going to avoid anything in a bowl from Wagamama in case it’s needed. My noodles will do me fine.

* I went home on the train full of the joys of caffeine after a final pitstop at Starbucks for coffee and cake. Lauren went home on a different train, most likely full of the joys of Borough Market – half of which she had bought and will consume over the next few days.