Seriously, he was the size of Buckingham Palace

10 September 2007

I was out in my patch on Sunday morning, poking, trimming, digging and getting scratched by things. I dug over the ground where the potatoes had been once more to see if I’d missed anything and found another 7g of little spuds. SCORE!

Suddenly something caught my eye. “Oh my GOD!” I exclaimed (because I’m all about the clichés). A slug roughly the size of Buckingham Palace was sliming over one of my little colour-coded sticks, right next to my smallest pumpkin. Bastard. So you’re the one who’s been eating stuff in this corner. Having photographed him for, well, his Disgusting Hugeness, I pulled the stick out of the ground with the slug attached and deposited him in the bin. I did consider killing him in some way. Now I’m no Buddhist, but the idea of cutting him in half or similar just didn’t appeal, because, in the words of Shakespeare, urrggghh, yuk, gross. So into the bin he went.