Monty got a raw deal

10 October 2007

Monty Suzy’s family have a kitten called Monty. I met him for the first time a few weeks ago, when his first diplomatic overtures towards me were an attempt to sink his teeth into an artery. He was in that kitten stage of Must Attack!, but still little and cute enough that you wanted to play with him and, before you realised what you’d done, you had wiggled your toes at him, only for him to pounce gleefully upon them with a view to kill. Rather than ambling over and curling up in your lap as you had hoped.

Just recently Suzy’s Mum discovered a rather forlorn-looking Monty at home. He’d evidently entered into a duel he had no hope of winning and had received a hefty chomp to the backside. Unfortunately this wound then went septic, causing young Monty’s bottom to swell up in a most unbecoming manner.

A visit to the vet was in order, where they anaesthetised the kitten to give him an x-ray. Everything was as it should be, but it was decided that as he was already under, they might as well neuter him there and then, to calm his tomcat hormones.

Yes, it’s Dignity Week in Cat Land. Can you just imagine the humiliation of losing a fight, your buttocks consequently swelling to wild proportions, then being told that you’ll be given an x-ray for your own good, only to later wake up and find your nether regions shaved and devoid of that which you held most dear? Poor little Monty. Or, as I like to call him, Little Bald Bum No Bollocks.