Why I like living in the country

Having come up with a pretty good mulch of leaves, pumpkin and coffee grounds in just a couple of months, I’m starting up another little compost bin to collect good stuff for my patch. There are lots of orchards around here and I thought I might be able to stealthily pick up a bag of [...]

True story

One evening a few years ago I was sitting in the den watching a film. It was a biopic of Bruce Lee, which I’d stumbled upon while channel-hopping. We have five terrestrial channels over here, so channel-hopping doesn’t take long. The film was interesting and as I didn’t know anything about the man I’d decided [...]

Moan, moan, moan, hurray!

I’m going to a Chinese restaurant with Suzy tonight. This is a good thing, as I’m sure hoi sin sauce will be involved, but I’ve booked a table for two and with the size of my bazoomers right now, I can’t help wondering if a table for four would be more appropriate.
I had a lovely [...]

My plantation

I was given one of these fantastically menacing double hoes for Christmas. You really shouldn’t stand in front of or behind me when I’m wielding it. Or rather I shouldn’t wield it when people are standing in front of or behind me. I gave it its first taste of soil yesterday and churned up [...]

In my pants

You may remember a while ago that John taught me that saying “beer can” sounds like you’re saying “bacon” with a Jamaican accent. Hilarious. Except it didn’t seem to work for many of my American readers, the poor things. My Austrian guy speaks fabulous English so I tried it out on him when I was [...]

Feed the birds. If you can.

Inspired by Soulemama’s popcorn and cranberry garlands for the birds, I decided to make my own offerings for the birds. I found a bag of cranberries at the supermarket and set to devising pretty wired feeders, which small birds could both perch and feed upon. I mixed up lard and bird seed together with a [...]

Pizza, salt dough and seaweed

I took the train to Bromley to see Lauren on Sunday. As mentioned before, Domino’s pizza don’t deliver to my postcode, although they have a branch 10 minutes away. So, in order to take advantage of home delivery, I was driven to a station, got on a train, walked up a hill and waited in [...]