Moan, moan, moan, hurray!

23 January 2008

I’m going to a Chinese restaurant with Suzy tonight. This is a good thing, as I’m sure hoi sin sauce will be involved, but I’ve booked a table for two and with the size of my bazoomers right now, I can’t help wondering if a table for four would be more appropriate.

I had a lovely detox wrap thing a fortnight ago, which involved being slathered with various potions and lying in a heated blanket (mmm, heated blanket). There was a noticeable difference in the state of my thighs – AKA Home To The Lard – afterwards, but now the bumpiness, she has returned. Is it these tablets? Or is it that ~~Christmas~~ winter has made me chubby? It’s not as though I’ve been snowed in since November, but I haven’t been for a walk or a proper bike ride for months. I rode up to the school yesterday, as the post box up there is further away than the one in the middle of the village. I know that going up there I’m always cycling into the wind, but my legs were totally texting each other saying, “OMG WTF?”. I kept wanting to dismount and see if my tyres were flat. I mean, surely Going Along shouldn’t be that difficult.

Also to be moaned about is the lack of anything decent to wear. I have three weddings to attend this year and not a single thread that is suitable to wear. I’ve been on a preliminary survey of the shops and – nada. There are no fancy tops. You head to the petite section and you’re faced with a pile of black uselessness. And why must the Petite section always be sandwiched between Tall and Maternity? As if I wasn’t already on edge enough with the Complete Lack of Clothes, you put me at risk of being caught looking at clothes that are quite clearly Not My Size.

But, BUT. Danielle loves me and that’s all that matters. Yes, she of the best copyright notice ever written has made me her first Featured Reader. Go and read how great I am over there.