PM at the NHM

The second part of our afternoon at the Natural History Museum a couple of weeks ago was spent looking at the dinosaurs, mammals and the vault of shiny diamonds and other expensive rocks. That still leaves us with lots of other areas of the museum yet to explore, so maybe we’ll make a return visit sometime.

We visited the dinosaurs, wandering among prehistoric bones and trying not to think too much about how much it would hurt to be clamped between those jaws with those teeth. There was even an animatronic T. Rex which would shift about in the dim light and roar and grumble, the effect of which was occasionally shattered by a voice coming over the tannoy ordering people to move along the walkway. I still say that if you’re going to have an animatronic vicious carnivore in your museum, you should make its movements erratic and unpredictable so as to frighten the crap out of people. That’d keep them moving along the walkway.

At the end of the mammal section full of the cute and furry and the mind-bogglingly enormous whales there was a weighing machine that enabled you to compare your weight to a number of different mammals. I stepped up, still carrying a kilo or so of my camera and gubbins, pressed the button and waited a moment. The digital display showed 74 kilos. Hang on a minute, that’s about twice what I was expecting. Gales of laughter erupted behind me and I turned to find Lauren pressing her foot on the scale and not just Helen and Suzy, but a bunch of people I didn’t know laughing at my unexpected weight gain.

The nuisance took her foot off the machine and I tried again. 41 kilos. I chose a polar bear to compare our weights and Lauren read the result. “You weigh ten times a polar bear”.

Click for the set

Gardens grow. Slugs eat. I tsk loudly.

I uploaded the latest photos from the patch today. I spent a nice chunk of time in the garden on Saturday, sowing more seeds and transplanting tomatoes and aubergines that had until that point been residing inside. Where the slugs couldn’t get to them. However, they’re now out in the wilderness where the slugs can get to them, which means I’m back on slug patrol of an evening. In addition to this the cucumbers are also protected by plastic bottles and the tomatoes are coming up within the walls of bottomless yoghurt pots. A yoghurt pot also being the vessel of choice for slug collection tonight. FEAR THE YOGHURT POT, YE TERRESTRIAL MOLLUSKS. I’ve probably cleared about 30 slugs from the patch over the past few days and I’m hoping that the slug pellets I put down will have got a few too. I’m betting the slug I saw last night didn’t appreciate the shower of pellets I cold-heartedly gave him. You eat the tops off my cucumbers, sweetcorn and runner beans and I will not be your friend.

Click for the set

Why I’m not in charge

Brendan: How old would someone be if they were born in 1988?
Everyone at the table pauses to think
Me: 34

7 Days – Spring mosaic

The 7 Days Project

The summer run begins on Saturday 11th July 2009 – see you then!

Flutterbies in the butterflarium

Lauren, Helen, Suzy and I made a Big Trip to The Big City on Sunday, for culture and, of course, food. We headed first to the Natural History Museum, which is currently running a butterfly jungle exhibit. It’s in a big marquee outside the museum, which is kept at a nice high humidity that the butterflies apparently love, but one’s carefully straightened hair does not so much. Once inside we came saw lots of enormous and beautiful species of butterflies resting on the walls, on the plants and – from time to time – zooming about in front of our faces. At which point Lauren let us know that actually she wasn’t so keen on butterflies. So taking her into a tent full of flying and swooping insects the size of her hand may not have been the best idea. I liked it though.

Click for the set

Very big in Bruneck

That’s my photo up there on the 10x5m poster hanging in the Rathausplatz in Bruneck. It’s there to publicise Hubert von Goisern’s concert in the city on 17th July 2009 (Tickets: www.helli.info) Thanks to the organiser for sending me these photos from his iPhone so I could see the poster for myself!

This is just one more thing I didn’t see coming when I launched www.hubertvongoisern.com more than eight and a half years ago.

Just when you thought I couldn’t get any stranger…

… I tell you about my exciting measuring stick.

You see, I have an exciting measuring stick. I designed, painted and varnished it myself and it is pretty. Having finally accepted a couple of years ago that the gardening books were telling me to plant things x inches apart for a good reason, I needed a measure for the garden. Until now though I’ve just been using my snazzy old My Little Pony 12″ rule that I’ve had since I was about 6. But I wanted something more specialist. Something that had 4-inch divisions on one side for example, so that I no longer had to remember my 4 times table when planting seeds. Something that was 18″ long, so I no longer had to mark the ground with my finger while I moved the ruler along six inches, because, DUDE, those are valuable seconds spent bending down when I could be standing up, drinking a margarita instead.

So now I have an exciting measuring stick. It’s 18 inches long and on two sides there are one-inch divisions, one side is marked into 4″ divisions and on the final side there is a one foot mark. I used it when I planted my seeds at the beginning of the month and can report to you now that it is The Finest Creation Ever.